This I believe Second Draft

Man kind has created many things, crafted and perfected skillful arts, and have engineered extravagant structures. The human is an extraordinary species unlike any other on Earth. We are unique in that we are self conscious and very intelligent . But what truly defines the human species and makes us special? I believe emotion is the most beautiful, and meaningful aspect of a human.

Emotions come in a whole range of forms, and each one can have a big impact on how I act and react as I go about my day. They certainly get the best of me sometimes, and they're not always good. Sometimes, I feel like as if I were better off without them. When I was younger, my stepfather came into my life. I was angry because he wasn't like my real father, and I didn't like him because of the way I thought he was. I said things that had upset him and had hurt him. My emotions didn't light up with beauty, but darkened and showed some ugly things.

Years had passed, and things were always up and down. Our relationship became like glass; It was solid, but little things could easily crack it. Because of our anger, and because of our feelings, words that should've stayed in our mouths flew out recklessly like arrows. After seven or eight years, things were better between us. It wasn't perfect, but we both understood each other and respected each other.

One day I wasn't sitting in my grandmothers car, waiting to be dropped off at home. My sister called me and told me my stepfather had passed away. My mother had found him motionless on his bed. He couldn't do what other humans did now. He couldn't laugh, he couldn't cry, he couldn't work, and he couldn't feel a thing. After he died, I realized how human he was. Because sometimes he had felt differently, I thought he was nothing like me. But he was exactly like me, we both let our emotions get in the way. The thing that made us beautiful and sweet had also made us ugly and cruel.

For days and nights after, whenever I was alone I sat down and cried. There was nothing else I could do. But for the first time ever, I finally felt like I was emotionally connected to my stepfather. Sometimes I like to listen to the Rolling Stones. It was his favorite band, so when I hear them I like to blast the stereo. It makes me feel good, and I almost feel as if he was right there sometimes, strumming along on his guitar with the huge grin he wore so well. There were always those happy times when we had gone to the beach with his son, and when we had gone out to his favorite eateries. We enjoyed lots of fun moments together, and I'll keep those moments close beside me along with the bad ones. Because even though our emotions collided sometimes, they also brought us together in beautiful, special kind of way.


Post Write
I believe my writing has improved from first draft to second. I saw I needed to make some change, such as when my belief was challenged. I also completely changed the story because my first story didn't really produce the feeling and thought I wanted readers to feel. And I believe it's an improvement. But it still rushes from one place to another, and I believe things happen a bit too fast.